


not enough (Klance)

by Rona23



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura as a supporting friend, Beginnings, Coming Out, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, I think I wrote this before season 8 came out ..... I´m trying to finish my WIPs, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pre-Relationship, sap, two first kisses lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 18:36:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rona23/pseuds/Rona23
Summary: “I knew it! You had your eyes on her from day one! I leave you alone for one god damn second and you´re already on top of her.”“What are you even talking about!”, Keith asked, knowing exactly what he meant. He could hear the jealousy dripping from each word.“You know EXACTLY, what I mean.”, he said, coming closer and pointing with his finger on Keith´s chest.OR: the one in which Keith rejects Allura and Lance has a few revelations about his own feelings.





	not enough (Klance)

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably the most romantic bs I ever wrote... it´s so sappy, enjoy

When Allura kissed him, he couldn´t even move. His entire mind went blank. Because this? This was absurd.   
He could feel it, but not feel it, if you understand. It was like a clap on your shoulder, but more daunting, because of the weight of it.  
Keith looked at her, up and down, to the flush on her cheeks. Despite her beauty, despite all of her amazing power and personality, he couldn´t bring himself to kiss her back.   
And Allura noticed.  
That´s when she pulled away. 

“I´m so, so sorry, Allura, I didn´t mean to-”, he startled, after he finally found his voice.   
“No, it´s fine, don´t worry about it.”, Allura didn´t even look at him.  
Keith knew what she must feel like, he dreaded the day rejection may come to him as well. And he knew that day was inevitable.

“Just, Allura. I like you, but-”  
“I said it´s fine, Keith. Please, don´t pity me, I should have known. You never looked at me like that, I-”  
“I like someone else.”  
Allura turned her head, eyes wide with surprise. But also hurt and curiosity.

“You mean – back home? On earth? Or-”  
“No, they´re here. I-”  
“Is it Pidge?”  
Keith blinked. “Seriously? How did you get to that conclusion? No, I don´t.”  
“Sorry, I just, I assumed. You seem so close, I thought-”

“It´s Lance.”, now it was Keith who turned his head. He didn´t even blush. He had already accepted his fate. There was only one person he had to hide his feelings from.   
Allura had always been a trusted friend, and she deserved to at least know the reason why he didn´t like her back. Couldn´t like her back.

“I´m gay. Well, that means I am attracted to guys. Guys only.”, he explained. Short and simple, like Pidge had done when they came out as nonbinary, weeks prior. Maybe it were the pronouns that had confused Allura earlier.

On Altea, terms like these never existed. You loved who you loved and it wasn´t rubbed in anyone´s faces, whether you did or not.  
It had all been about connections. Alteans were nothing like humans when it came to racism and sexism. Or perhaps the history of their existence had been far too long for anyone to remember times like these. Allura certainly didn´t. But she understood the concept, after what she had experienced with her own prejudices towards Galra.  
Keith had his fare share of experienced with – complicated situations.

"I- I see. Well, erm. Now, do you plan on confessing to him?"   
Keith shook his head. “I don´t think that is necessary. He´s straight. Well, meaning, he only likes girls. So, I can kind of assume what his answer would be. I´ll get over it, don´t worry.”

Allura, however, could tell that Keith was struggling to keep his composure. 

"I see. I won´t tell him. Thank you for trusting me, Keith. You know, about Lance and, well, about being honest with me." 

Keith nodded at her, as she turned around to leave his room.  
He sat down on his bed, staring at the empty wall in front of him. 

How ironic, he thought. Almost chuckling to himself. Because, as it turned out, Lance liked Allura. That was a fact, Lance made clear the first day they took a step on this castle.

"How fucking ironic.", Keith whispered to himself as he grabbed his pillow if only to have something to hold on to.

\---------------------------------------

It was weeks later that Allura broke her promise.   
They were in the dining room and she and Keith were talking about everything and nothing. Allura was basically sitting next to him, laughing here and there at jokes Keith didn´t even notice existed.   
Or didn´t intend to make.   
However, he hadn´t noticed how they were alone in the whole room.  
Until Lance stepped in. And basically started screaming at him. A betrayed expression framing his voice.

“I knew it! You had your eyes on her from day one! I leave you alone for one god damn second and you´re already on top of her.”

“What are you even talking about!”, Keith asked, knowing exactly what he meant. He could hear the jealousy dripping from each word.

“You know EXACTLY, what I mean.”, he said, coming closer and pointing with his finger on Keith´s chest.  
Keith couldn´t breathe, but he tried to keep calm anyway. He was used to banter and bickering between them. Which gave him the opportunity to look into Lance´s beautiful blue eyes. Allura´s eyes were also beautiful. But her eyes were more like sapphires or crystals.   
While Lance´s eyes bore the entire ocean and yet, there was a fire that never seemed to burn out. It crashed Keith´s whole world and he knew he could get lost in them.  
This time, however, Lance was shivering in serious anger. There was nothing fun about this. And Keith couldn´t help the constricted pain he felt.

“No. I, in fact, do not know what you mean.”, Keith answered, automatically. Fighting to stay focused on this reality, to not get lost in what never would be his.

“Calm down Lance, Keith was not on to me. In fact, he just rejected me a few weeks ago.”

Keith turned to Allura, his eyes widening as he lost his grip on his emotions. Fear, almost anger took him over. And as he looked back at Lance, he could see his eyes widening in shock, disappointment (sounds ironic alright), pain.  
Keith could feel the pain. It took him only a moment though, to realize it were his own. In fact, he couldn´t read Lance´s expression at all.

But it was not her fault. He could see that she had wanted to help him. And she didn´t know Lance liked her. Maybe she assumed that Lance was jealous of her instead?  
Of course. Just his luck.

“He did what?”, Lance stared at them. His eyes turning from one person to the other.  
Keith took a breath.

“Perhaps, you should tell him, after all.”, Allura said and Keith wanted to slap her. No way in hell could he ever, ever, say that.  
"Tell me what?", Lance asked, pain replaced by curiosity. 

"Thanks, Allura.", Keith hissed at her. She flinched at the sound. "Come on, wouldn´t it be better to just get it out of your system? I don´t know how you do things on earth, but-" This, however, caused something to snap inside him.  
“Alright, you don´t!”, Keith stood up and even Lance made a few steps back. Every ounce of carefulness that Keith had built as a wall around him long forgotten.  
Allura had no right to make such implications.

"I can´t just go and tell him! You wanna know how it ends when you do that on earth? You get beaten to a pulp just for existing! People throw insults at you, hurt you or pity you. I know on Altea it didn´t matter, but where I´m from-", Keith blinked away a tear and that set Lance off. But when Keith saw him, saw the shocked look on Lance´s face, he knew there was no way around it anymore. He had set himself up for this, he might as well get it over with.  
He looked at Lance, gasping for air as he continued talking to Allura.  
“I can´t just tell him that I like him.”

And with that, he passed past his crush. A crush so overwhelmingly that it scared Keith. It scared him because up until now he had managed to contain it. Now that his secret was out, he was afraid it may spill out. Now he would certainly drown in his own confession. 

He left the two in the dining room. He didn´t need their pity.

\-------------------------------------

“Leave me alone.”, Keith called out weakly, after it had knocked like, sixteen times now.  
He knew it was Lance. He would not have been surprised if it was Shiro. But it wasn´t.

“Please, Keith. Can I come in?”  
Never in his life had Keith wished more that he was wrong.  
“I don´t need your pity, Lance.”

“That´s not, why I´m here.” Keith sat up at that. Confused by this answer. Lance sounded on edge, almost nervous.  
´Don´t get your hopes up´, Keith told himself. And then he sighed, because that one didn´t even take any effort.  
But he stood up anyway. Cautiously approaching his own door. 

“Then why ARE you here?”, Keith asked, hesitant.   
“I just- can you open the door first, please?”   
Keith groaned but complied. As the door slid open, he barely managed to look up at Lance in shame.   
But Lance didn´t look like he was going to punch him, so that was a good sign, right?

“May I come in?”, Lance asked.

"Why not.", Keith sighed and relief seemed to fall from Lance´s shoulders. He moved past him and awkwardly sat down on Keith´s bed. The same bed Allura had sat on the night she had kissed him. Sometimes Keith hated his mind. 

“So?”, Keith stood in front of Lance, arms crossed. He tried to ignore the flutter in his chest. Despite all odds, the butterflies had betrayed him after all, as they had settled down earlier.   
Now he felt how sweaty his own hands were, how clammy there were at his own arms. They might leave a bruise later.

“I-”, Lance didn´t look at him.  
"I´m sorry, Keith. I´m not here to tell you that I like you or anything.", he stared and Keith closed his eyes, as the rejection settled in already. Ripping at his insides like claws. But he wouldn´t show it. He had promised himself at least that much. For his dignity. 

“However-”, Lance stopped, as he finally looked at Keith, whose eyes were still closed.  
“I am not here to reject you either.”  
Keith´s eyes snapped open. Wide open. “What?”  
Lance took a deep breath until he continued.

“I just- I didn´t expect you to confess to me and until then, I never even considered -”, he stopped himself, perhaps noticing how offending he was going to sound.  
“I´ve never liked a guy before. Heck, I´ve never even met anyone who liked guys before. I never considered it. Most guys at my school were assholes anyway.  
But when you confessed earlier, I – well – I don´t find the idea as off-putting as I thought I would." 

“Thank you?”, Keith raised his eyebrows at this confession.   
Lance scratched his neck as he continued.

“What I´m trying to say is – I have no idea what I´m feeling. I just know that when I heard you rejected Allura, I – my first thought was how could you reject someone like her? My second was how relieved I felt that you did.  
My third was -” Again, Lance stopped as he tried to gain some control over his thoughts.

“Well?”, Keith asked.

“I was wondering why I wasn´t jealous.”

Keith perked up at that. “What do you mean?”, he asked, clearly uncertain.  
“I mean – she confessed to you, right? Shouldn´t I be jealous that she likes you and not – me? Instead, I think I felt relieved.”  
Keith opened his mouth, still unsure of what to say, so he closed it again.

“But, when I thought about that- that she had kissed you – she- she told me that- I totally was.”

Keith blinked. “I don´t understand.”, he said.   
"Me neither.", Lance admitted as he continued tapping on the bed.   
“Then why are you here?”, Keith asked carefully. Cautious, but also hopeful.

“I- I was hoping-”, Lance took another deep breath.   
"What?", Keith encouraged him, his arms slightly losing their grip on themselves. Lance was fidgeting, clearly nervous about his proposition, as he went so far as to close his eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?”  
Keith lowered his arms, completely taken off guard. “Huh?”

Lance´s face flushed.   
"Look, I´m not here to lead you on, that´s why I said I can´t tell you I like you because I don´t know, but if there is a chance – I – I just need to know what I am feeling.   
If you don´t want to it´s fine. I won´t blame you. But, if you may be okay with it. With trying, I mean. We could just pretend it never happened afterward. Wait- that sounds bad.   
I mean - “

“I get it.”, Keith stopped him, his heart finally being a ramming mess against his chest.   
“I mean, I don´t. But, if you´re fine with me taking advantage of this situation, then fine. You can kiss me.”

Keith really was a fool, right?

Lance stood up slowly. Keith could tell he was nervous. But perhaps that was Keith himself. And to make things worse, Keith realized that Lance was actually taller than him.  
Quite intimidating, to be honest.

“I think I can live with that.”, Lance tried to crook a smile at him, as he came closer, while Keith had to fight his instincts not to flee from this guy.  
And as he focused himself on this simple task, he faintly noticed how Lance put his hands on his face, softly pulling him closer as he pressed their lips together.

And yet again, everything in Keith´s head went blank. But not empty blank.   
Because this time, he could feel everything. His heartbeat, his lungs who were losing their ability to breathe. The warmth of Lance´s hands, his mouth, his freaking tongue.   
Keith gasped for air as he noticed he was failing to stand upright. Who of them had started that?  
Lance´s hands had moved to his shoulders to keep him steady.

And last but not least – Keith could feel the time stopping. And yet, it went by so fast he could barely count the seconds.   
But he knew – this kiss went on far longer than anything else he´d ever experienced before. Then what he had expected. When had he started kissing back? When had he closed his eyes? 

However, there was something else that crept into his mind when the ability to think slowly returned.   
This? This was Lance´s test. Lance was testing if he liked guys. Or, more specifically, if he liked kissing guys. What if he was just too nice to stop the kiss now? What if he wanted to stop, but didn´t, because Keith was so far into it.  
All of his contained emotions had been flooding out and now? Now he felt the rejection coming up. He felt himself bracing for it, despite wanting the moment to last forever.

It was Keith who broke the kiss.   
He didn´t even dare to look at Lance, as he gulped, already regretting that he had stopped it.

"I- erm. Don´t you think that´s enough?", Keith asked, cursing the betrayal of his cracking voice.   
As he looked at Lance, he felt the air being punched out of him yet again. Lance was still holding on to his shoulders, his eyes and pupils widened as though he was on drugs. The last remaining blue of the ocean of such a deep color that Keith almost didn´t catch his answer.   
“Not at all.”  
One second later, Keith felt those lips again.


End file.
